Not the highchairs!

The video in my last post shows my two little children happily sitting in their highchairs. They may have been burping and laughing at themselves but at least they were sitting. Now they have figured out how to unbuckle themselves and stand up while eating which leads to:

1. A toddler who is very happy with him or herself
2. Another toddler attempting to do the same thing
3. The food on that toddler's plate flying through the air
4. The food on the person's tray next to said toddler flying through the air.
5. No one eating anything

Here is a picture of the one who started it all. I would have gotten a picture of both of them doing it but by then it was too dangerous for me to stand back and watch while taking pictures :) And yes, those are Doritos on their trays, McKenna loves them and I was trying anything to get her to sit back down before the whole situation got ugly (this tactic obviously did not work).

So now I am debating what to do next, small picnic table or booster chairs? Anyone have a booster chair they like best or other ideas for getting them to actually sit and eat at the same time???

Giggles

So the new form of entertainment in our house is fake burping. Apparently when your sister pretends to burp while you are eating it is just hilarious. So if my kids grow up with terrible table manners it is because I never stopped the fake burping because the giggles that it brought were just too cute...

She scores!

I've never seen a victory dance quite like the one I saw last night. 

Ashlyn scored her first soccer goal and was beyond excited.  As soon as the ball went in she ran, jumping up and down, arms circling, all the way down the field.  I think she practically knocked some of her teammates over as they gave her high fives. 

My dad and I watched her from the sidelines and when I looked back at him he was as choked up as I was.  This was one of the moments on that mental list you keep as the parent of a special needs child... the list of things that you aren't sure you will ever see. 

I remember spending weeks in physical therapy helping her learn to climb a set of stairs and celebrating when she was finally able to get both feet off the floor when she jumped and now I am watching her score goals in a soccer game. 

She has definitely shown us all that the sky is the limit.

Last night one of the moms turned to me and said, "Wow, she deserved that, she spent weeks trying for the goal" and I just smiled because I know it hasn't been weeks, she's been trying for years.

Labor day a little late

I'm embarrassed to say I'm just now getting around to posting about Labor Day. We had a great afternoon with Aunt Casey and the girls and Nana and Papa. Thanks to Nana, who watched Sawyer and his cousin Nina, I was able to go on my second (and last) boat ride of the season.

Grabbing a kiss or two before we go

The kids sitting still for a brief moment

Enjoying our boat ride thanks to Daddy

Nina and Sawyer playing quietly, just like they did when their mommies were gone, right Nana (whose ears are still ringing)??

My handsome man

No caption necessary :)

Grief

I don't post a lot about losing Hadley and sometimes I wonder if because I don't people think that I am "okay" now. It has been almost two years and the grief is still overwhelming. I have yet to find peace with all that happened and as each day passes and my survivors continue to grow into amazing little people I am reminded of all that we have lost by not getting to experience each day with our daughter. But I know too that I have been given the gift of truly understanding how precious life is and will never take a moment with my children for granted.

Another bereaved mom shared this with me and I think it expresses how I feel perfectly...

To those of you who look away when I grow teary eyed in the baby department, look a little deeper. Surely you have some compassion in your heart.

To those of you who change the subject when I speak my child's name, change your way of thinking. It may just change your whole life.

To those of you who roll your eyes and say we barely had them at all, how could we miss them so much, in our hearts we have seen them live a thousand times. We have seen their first steps, their first day of school, their weddings, and their children. We have had them forever in our minds.

To those who say we can have another, even if we had twenty more they would never be the child we lost, and we will always miss them.

To those who say get on with my life, I have. It is a different life, the life of a grieving mother. One with a tremendous amount to be thankful for, but also one with a lot to mourn the loss of.

Do not judge a bereaved mother. She comes in many forms.

She is breathing, but she is dying.

She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.

She smiles, but her heart throbs.

She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS, but she is NOT, all at once.

She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.

We love crib tents!

Right around the time that Sawyer was born McKenna decided she wasn't interested in sleeping in her crib anymore. So she didn't start climbing out, she started flinging herself out. She was falling and hurting herself everytime so ultimately, everytime we heard her cry to get out we had to get her so that she wouldn't fall and hurt herself again. I'm sure you know where this is going... Ms. McKenna learned that we would come get her if she cried, started doing it every night, we would get her and try everything possible to get her back to sleep which usually resulted in Mark driving her around in the car until she couldn't stay awake any longer, fun, fun, fun! I had heard about crib tents from a few other moms so we ordered one as our last hope for getting back to some kind of normal bedtime routine and it worked. I was afraid McKenna would be scared of it or not want to get into bed but as you can see below it has become the latest and greatest toy in our house. Who knew being confined to your crib could be so much fun??