Dear Daddy- A Public Restroom Tale

Well another day, another drama.

Today we ended up in the one place that mom has been dreading since... well.... I don't know since when, but this is the one place she had nightmares about.

The potty room.  
The big kind, with the walls and the doors, and lots of potties in a place that is not our house.

She thinks they are germy and can handle one with a kid or two, but has been shaking in her boots for the day that she had to cram us all in there and today was it.

We were out and about and everybody had to go and you know those Crazies, they could not WAIT to try a new potty.  (Not me Dad, you know me... just go when I need to and sit in it til someone's downwind.  I'm low maintenance that way.)

So Mommy took all of us and the diaper bag and our coats and hats and gloves (boy, does she love winter) to the potty.  As soon as we got in we all went running for those swinging doors.  The ladies on the other side kept saying "I'm in here!" but that was okay, we just rattled away at those doors anyway.

Mommy waited for the big room and squished us all in.  While Mommy got Parker all set, I layed on that cold floor and Daddy, I could see shoes for miles.  Mommy made me get up and scrubbed my cheek with a wipe while she held Parker on the potty and, since Mommy was busy and Kenna is no dummy, she took the opportunity to squeeze that paper roll right down the potty behind Parker's butt.  I pushed the flusher for her and we laughed and laughed.  Parker didn't laugh (his butt got extra wet) and neither did Mommy (not her kind of fun I guess).

Anyway, then Kenna went potty and Mommy dragged us out of that little room and tried to wash our hands but I loved this place so much I started unloading the diaper bag so we could stay a while.  Mommy said "no, no, no!" but I just smiled and chucked it all.  She started packing my unpacking job and while she was down, we all headed for the hills.  Mommy chased us with all kinds of our stuff falling off her arms and she thought the party was over but we weren't done yet.  Well we were but Parker wasn't.

He poked his arm back in there real quick and turned off the lights on all those shoes under the doors just waiting for us to get out.  The boy is genius.  Can you imagine being in there when the lights went out??  I bet no one could see a thing.  I'm glad my diaper-butt was already on the other side!

So anyway, just wanted you to know we are all safe and sound now.  I'm blogging, Mommy's sanitizing the bazillion things that hit the potty room floor (she said alcohol works, I think she is taking a swig or two).

Oh and when you have your Christmas time at home Daddy, I think you might need to give Mommy a day (or ten) off.  Because seriously....

now is not the time to break it to her, but this is probably not her last trip to a potty room with these hooligans...

Love Mommy's favorite child because I'm still in a diaper,

Sawyer

Dear Daddy

Me again Daddy.  I guess you have figured out by now that if I'm writing it means two things, I've got material and Mommy's burned out.

So here is how we did her in today.

Since her little Mommy and Me mishap our Tuesdays are now wide open so today we went somewhere we have never been before... to one of those indoor germ factories play places.  Mommy heard this one was clean and good for little ones so we gave it a go.

I loved it Daddy, I climbed and played and tried to keep up with the Crazies but, well, you know how they run, I ended up just hanging with Mommy.  

The Crazies found a friend and sure enough it was a little girl just their size.  The Crazies just loved that little girl and they said they were a "team" and kept going down the slides together holding hands.  Mommy was trying to cheer for them but she couldn't because she had a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes, and I think she was telling herself that this is how life would be if Hadley was here.

I just let her keep holding me, Daddy.

Lucky for Mommy, more kids joined the "team" soon and she felt better.  But then (here is where Mommy got tears again) she heard someone say "watch out team, don't step in the pee pee" and she didn't even need to look, she knew that the person who belonged to the pee pee puddle belonged to her.   So Mommy climbed in and pulled Parker out and started to clean it up but the people at the front said they needed to do it and Mommy was secretly relieved.

Once we managed to quarantine the play area, Mommy changed Parker and we moved on to the cafe to see what damage could be done there.  We did pretty good, I sat nice (had no choice, she strapped me in) and the Crazies ate while they sat down, stood up, sat down, stood up... the usual ants in their pants routine.  Who could blame them though?  There was a big fat Christmas tree right in that cafe, those shiny ornaments are like magnets.  Parker (who else?) just could not sit in his seat and eat his grilled cheese so Mommy gave up and let him eat in front of the tree.

She packed us up and we left really nice.  Once we were outside and Mommy was hanging onto all of us like we might run (because we will) Mommy looked in the window and saw it... little piles of chewed up grilled cheese hanging right on that Christmas tree next to those ornaments Parker was loving.  Merry Christmas Play Place, Parker left you a present.

Oh and on your way in today Daddy, could you grab Kenna's car seat?  She peed in it really proudly on the way home and Mommy is about done with this pee business for the day.

Thanks Daddy.

Love,
Sawyer

The Window Washer

Just last night I was telling Mark that I could not wait for the first snowfall this year because the kids are going to love it.  Ashlyn has always loved the snow and Parker and McKenna have finally hit the age where they get excited about just about anything (a successful trip to the potty sounds like Christmas morning over here).  This morning the snow started falling and Parker came running through the house yelling "It's snowing! It's snowing!"

I was excited to see him excited and was thinking this was a heartwarming little moment and conjuring up my Small Thing post for the week as I grabbed the camera.  So I'm trying to get his picture at the window at an angle that will capture his sweet little face and the two or three snow flakes actually falling  while minimizing the amount of fingerprints on our doorwall and I hear water... not a big deal... I was in a cleaning frenzy and, although there was a remote chance I would get to removing the fingerprints, the dishwasher and washing machine were both running.  So I'm snapping pictures and look down and see a stream of pee shooting through his pj's onto the floor and trickling down the heater vent.

I'm sure there is some catchy phrase about not getting so caught up in the small stuff that you pee on yourself but it is not coming to me right now.

Maybe he was tired of waiting for me to get to the fingerprints so thought he figured he would just give them a squirt???

That Daddy

While cleaning up a mess worthy of a second shower for me and a bath for the rest of the crew, Parker looked over my shoulder out the window...

"Look Mommy the sun is coming up."

Awww, nothing like a child to make you stop and smile even while trying not to gag.

"It is Parker, isn't it pretty?"

"Yes.  Daddy put the sun up for us.  Daddy took down the moon and put up the sun."

Yes Parker, Mommy is on my knees putting your poo where it belongs but Daddy took down the moon and hung the sun for you.

The Sun-Hanger himself with Parker, McKenna and our nieces.

This is all I've got

Unfortunately for everyone reading, our household is full immersed in potty training and, as I sat down to blog there is not much else I can talk about.

Here are a few experiences that potty training two 3 year-olds at once has give me...

1. Saying "do you have to go potty?" so many times that now everyone is just asking each other:
    Do you have to go potty Kenna?
    Do you have to go potty Parker?
    Do you have to go potty Sawyer?
    Do you have to go potty Mommy/Daddy/Sissy? (Sissy does NOT appreciate this question)

2.  Sitting in the CVS parking lot begging my daughter, who is looking at me like I have two heads, to use the cute little portable potty that my friend, the potty genius (you know who you are), recommended.  (See #3 for results of debate)

3.  Heading through CVS to find pull ups with a 3 year old trailing behind walking like she just completed a long horseback ride since peeing down your leg while walking into the store is a much better alternative than listening to your Mommy and going on your new portable potty.

4.  Completely stripping and cleaning two car seats and covers because the refusal to use portable potty is catchy. (thank goodness for shopping trip in #3, pull ups will be worn by all seated in the back seat of our vehicle)

5.  Extensive visits to the bathroom. I have a chair in there now.  And a pillow and blanket. 
Singing, dancing, book reading, all done in the bathroom, in hopes of getting someone to stay in there long enough to get something accomplished and to avoid a trip right back in there 2 minutes later.

6.  Rearranging of the vehicle to fit their full size little potty since the portable one is not catching on.  (see #2 and #3)

7.  Prebooking dentist visits.  The amount of treats it takes to get these people to go is impressive.

7.  Creative naming of pull ups.  They are not diapers, we are far too mature for that. They are big-kid-pants-for-when-we-nap-and-go-somewhere.

And my absolute favorite...

8.  The thorough investigation of all unidentified objects.  There is no drop of liquid nor speck of brown-toned crumb that can be passed by, wiped up or swept without thorough inspection and questioning of all nearby (or faraway and hiding) parties.  NEVER. A. DULL. MOMENT.

And lastly, a bedtime conversation that sums up the learnings of our week:

Me:  Big girls...

McKenna:  go on the potty.

Me:  Right!  And big boys...

Parker:  only wipe their butts when they poop.

My crazy potty trainees + 1. Slappy happy from days and days in the house because Mommy does not want to strip clean the car seats again.

Funnies

The kids are growing like crazy.
Sawyer is walking like a champ,

Ashlyn is starting high school in one week (my heart is beating faster just typing those words) and Parker and McKenna are changing from my little toddlers into miniature little adults squished into almost 3 year-old bodies.

I know everyone thinks that their children are hilarious so I will just join the club and share a few recent quotes from the Crazies.

Me- Parker, tell Sawyer sorry for hitting him in the head
Parker (looking at me very seriously and whispering)- I am not talking right now.

Me- Please be quiet Parker
Parker- That's no way to talk to your sweetie.

Parker- Kenna come get in your chair
McKenna- I do not like Kenna, it is McKenna for you Parker.

Potty quotes:

This morning after going way past his threshold for holding it, I made Parker go sit on the potty.
He jumped up after a second, said he didn't have to go and headed on his way.
I explained that he needed to go on the potty or he would wet his big kid pants and he explained back-
In two minutes I will pee in my pants.


Me- Parker, did you wet your pants?
Parker- Not yet.


Me- If you go poop on the potty I will give you a BIG treat, what do you what?
Parker- An elephant.

That's all I've got for now.
I know there are a million more but I have not been writing them down which I'm sure I will regret forever especially since I am still waiting for the day when I regain all of those brain cells I seem to have lost after childbirth.

And we're off

See those little two little diaper-butt kids?  

They are both well on their way to potty training.

Parker is doing GREAT but Ms. McKenna is giving us a run for our money as usual.  

I swear she can hold it for longer than humanly possible.  

Usually after she has been dry for about 5 hours or so Mark or I will relent and sit with her in the bathroom where she will stay, on her potty, just staring at us as we wait for her to go.  Sooner or later we will give up, or feel the need to do something other than sit on a slate floor eye-to-eye with the poster child for stubborn, and head out of the bathroom.  About five minutes after the face-off is over she will either pee on the floor or ask for a diaper, pee in it then take it off.  Smart, isn't she??

Today, for the first time, she ran to the bathroom yelling "Kenna's going pee-pee" and came out proudly carrying the potty seat with about two drops of pee in it.  Just as I was explaining to her that she needed to sit back down and finish going I saw her shorts and realized that she sat on the potty while wearing her shorts and underwear.  At least she headed there on her own though, right??

Parker seems to be well on his way but I think McKenna is going to need the 3 day intensive program that I have heard such great things about.  Either way the diaper days are coming to an end for my little preemies.  As much as I am happy about this I have a few scenarios that I am dreading and would love some tips from anyone who has/had more little ones than arms at one time...

1. Shopping anywhere.  How in the world am I going to manage a public restroom when I am lucky to find a place that has a cart to fit them all in?

2. Driving anywhere.  Again, I can't imagine stopping to schlep them all inside a fast food place/gas station/anywhere yucky to use a bathroom.  I can bring the potty seat with us everywhere but what do I do with whatever ends up inside it?

I'm hoping for some good tips so we are not stuck inside until all of my kids are big enough to not fall through the seat of a big potty.

Thanks in advance and sorry for all of the potty talk for anyone who is not remotely interested.  I promise, even though this is all very exciting, it will not be my only blog topic for the next few weeks.

A Potty Story

At some point last night, when my hands were more than full and no one was wearing a diaper, Parker announced that he had to go potty.  As any mom who has cleaned more than her fair share of pee off the floor would do, I told him to RUN to the potty.  McKenna followed behind him to supervise as always and just as I was wondering if the little boy pee shield was up on the potty, McKenna came out to inform me very seriously that "Parker's pee pee did not go in the potty."

I finished diapering Sawyer and headed in the bathroom.  As I was cleaning a smaller than usual puddle and Parker was emptying the two drops of pee that did make it into the potty into the toilet I looked up at McKenna who concentrating on the whole scene with her hands on her hips and a wet stripe going down her dress from her chest to her knees.

Apparently she was in the line of fire.

I wish, wish, wish the camera was in reach for a picture but I just couldn't get to it.

Here is my picture for today but I had to cheat.  Today was not a good day.  My poor Sawyer was sick and miserable and the only time the doctor could see him was during our coveted naptime so everyone was either sick and crying or tired and crying ALL DAY LONG.  I kind of figured no one needed a sick baby/crabby toddler/frazzled mom picture today and found a cute one from the other day instead.

Keep us in your thoughts that the little sunglass-wearer does not get her brother's virus.  The last time she was sick was when everything went downhill and she lost so much coordination and strength.  She is in rehabilitation now but doctors are still trying to find a diagnosis and until they do we really don't know how her body will respond to another illness so I am hoping that we can keep her healthy!!!!

Excitement

Well we are on our way... I have not been pushing potty training much yet because the kids have not really seemed ready. This morning McKenna got out of the shower, sat on her potty and went #2. This was a huge event, the excitement that two two-year-olds get out of not only checking out what is in the potty, but getting to dump and flush it into the big potty, was almost more than they could take.

They squealed, jumped, clapped, took turns sitting on the potty waiting for something else to happen.

I took pictures. We sang our potty song.

It was quite a morning.

They were still saying "bye, bye poopie" when I put them down for their nap, three hours after the amazing event took place.

It was the easiest morning I have had in ages, I didn't have to come up with a single activity to keep them out of trouble. Who knew potty training could be so exciting??

Someone please note this post and direct me back here when I try to train Parker, I have a feeling "easy" and "exciting" will not be the words I will use to describe the experience.

McKenna sitting for her "potty picture" not too long after the big event :)