My Giveaway Day!!

I have been waiting for this day to get here all month.

It is finally my day to host a giveaway for loss moms only.

I loved following all of the giveaways last year and was so excited when Tina gave me a day to host this year.  Although my excitement quickly turned into fear once I remembered that I can't make a single creative thing to give away to any of you.

So, I did some thinking and came up with something that I hope you will like...

After we lost our daughter Hadley, I really did not do much for myself.  It took me a long time to care much about myself again and I have not felt very worthy of gifts or anything that focuses too much on me since.  So I would like to give one loss mom a little present just for her.

I ran my idea for a giveaway by a few friends of mine who are also loss moms and they all wanted to help.  SO, together we would like to give the winner $200 to spend on herself and only herself.  We would love to send you to a spa but if spas are not your kind of thing you can go on your own little shopping spree and buy whatever would make you happy.  My only requirement is that all $200 must be spent on YOU and only YOU.  Once I pick the winner you can let me know where you would like the gift card to and I will purchase it for you and send it your way.  I know if I send someone a check you will just selflessly spend it on lots of little things that end up not being for you so I insist that you let me buy your present for you!

To enter, first of all you must be a loss mom.  Please leave a comment and tell me anything you would like to share about your angel(s) and also leave your blog address if you have one.  (I would love to visit.)  For an additional entry you can tweet this or share it on facebook to spread the word, just leave another comment to let me know you did so.

Most importantly, as I mentioned, this gift is not just from me.  It comes with lots of love from Ari's mom, Caitlin's mom, Alex's mom, Benjamin's mom, Raiden, Ryker and Gwyneth's mom, Konstantin's mom and Hadley's grandma.

The next 25

I think I have mentioned a time or two or twenty that holidays have not been the easiest since we lost Hadley.

Thanksgiving was no exception.

Of course I spent plenty of time on Thanksgiving in gratitude for all that I have, I marveled at Sawyer's chunky baby-ness and cemented the memory of three year-old voices saying Happy Thanksgiving into my Mommy brain and took a step back to look at my amazing Ashlyn.

But I also was crabby and bitter and bit my husband's head off one time too many.

For the first hour or two of the day I was trying to figure out what my problem was and then I remembered what I seem to forget EVERY SINGLE holiday.

I can't do them right anymore.

Once we get to wherever we are going I get distracted and do okay but I can not seem to get good at the getting ready and trying to make the day normal and all of that other business.  I spend all of my time trying not to think about the fact that this is not the way Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, the list goes on and on, is supposed to be.

On the way to my parents for Thanksgiving I told Mark that we need to do something different from now on and, like the husband who knows me like he does, he did not say anything to disagree but just let me continue blabbing on until I came to the conclusion myself that going somewhere different is not going to do a single bit of good because we could go to the moon but we will still be without our daughter.

And you can't get good at living without one of your children.   You can just hope that with time the bitterness will slowly fade and the person you once were will surface here and there.

My long holiday rant was all to say that going through the motions of the holidays is not something you look forward to once you are a loss mom and that is why Tina of Living Without Sofia and Ellie is a GENIUS.  Last year, Tina started 25 days of Giveaways for mom's who have lost a child and the response was overwhelming so she is doing it again this year.

For each day of December a different loss mom will be hosting a giveaway on her blog.  I believe that, aside from the support of all of these great women, this is the only other perk of my lifetime membership into the I-have-lost-a-child club.

So Tina has given us all something to look forward to each of the next 25 days and yours truly gets to host day 23.  I'm SO excited to do it but do not have a creative bone in my body to make something so am still wracking my brain for something to give away (if you have any ideas or create something of your own that you think would be a good idea PLEASE let me know).

Finally, to end my long, rambling post, if you are a loss mom visit Living Without Sofia and Ellie today to enter the first day of giveaways.

October 15th

Today, October 15th, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance day.

Before we lost Hadley I didn't know that such a day existed.

I felt alone and shocked that I had lost a child.  I had no idea that when I was ready, there was a whole world of support out there waiting for me.

It saddens me to no end that there are so many women who are living with the pain of losing a child but at the same time, I don't know how I would have gotten through the last 3 years without them.

Some I have met in person, some I have emailed or talked with over the phone, some I have only met in the blog world and followed their journey through daily posts, finding comfort in their familiar feelings and hoping their good days out weigh the bad.

On this day of remembrance my hope is that others realize that pregnancy and infant loss touches many, many more women that you could ever imagine.  I appreciate everyone who comes here because I know that you know Hadley through me and her memory will live on through those who remember.

So today I remember all of the loss moms and their angel babies whose paths I have crossed over the last 3 years.

I never knew what strength I would find through all of you.

Heather and Ari
Dana and Benjamin
Amy and Caitlin
Allison and Alex
Ellen and Abigail and Emma
Jennifer and Logan
Veronica and Andrew
Karen and Hunter
Lisa and Alexander and Liam
Mishael and Emmalin and Elianna
Andrea and June and Charlie
Melinda and Bailey
Sarah and Alexander
Amanda and Levi
Becky and two of her triplets
Heather and one of her triplets
Nancy and Shelby, Megan and Lynne
Christina and Angelina and Gabriella
Natasha and Konstantin
Jill and Emma and Chase
Kristen and Peyton
Rachel and Courtney, Colin and Jaxon
Brianna and Lucia, Bennet, Tryg, Lincoln and Cadence
Martha and James
Laura and Andrew and Baby E
Allison and Ethan
Liliana and Angelito
Francesca and Jenna Belle
Kim and Jayce
Nikki and Finbar
Cathi and Gwyn, Raiden and Ryker
Jennifer and Emily
Keira and Zoe
Courtney and Logan, Wyatt and Brody
Jaime and Adam
Jennie and Katelyn

If they have a blog and you have a minute please visit one of these amazing moms today, read their story  and let them know their baby or babies will be remembered by you on this day.

In loving memory of Hadley Jane

October 9, 2007 - October 11, 2007