Today

Three years ago today you became an angel.


When I woke up this morning, my heart was heavy with the weight of this day.  I planned to blog about the heartache and pain of life without you but as the day went on plans changed...


We started out your day as we have each year since you left us Hadley.

We visited Grandma, and thanked her for taking care of you.

We sent you three pink balloons and watched them float up until you could reach them.


And then we headed home.


But as we made the drive home, your brothers and sister started getting a little antsy so we had to pull out all the stops.  We sang songs, counted buses going by (you know how Parker loves them), took off shoes and socks and tickled feet, whatever we could do to keep the car happy.


And that is when you told me what we should do next.


You said not to worry about naptime or laundry or answering the phone.


You told me it was beautiful outside and we should head out for our last boat ride because it will not be this nice again until spring.

And to tell Daddy to go fast because going slow is no fun.

You said we should have cupcakes for dinner

and that I should let your brother have one more when he asked.

You said to hold each other tight... your brother and sister had no problem with that one.

So we spent our afternoon just how you wanted us to, Hadley.


We played and giggled and filled the house with kisses and hugs, extra bedtime stories and I love you's, because you only live once and you never know just how short that life will be.


I hope we make you proud baby girl and that you looked down on us and smiled today.  You have taught us the fragility of life and how to cherish each other and how to love deeper than we ever thought possible.  


I miss you more than words could ever say but  I will always be grateful for all you have taught me and promise to cry for you less and celebrate you more. 


Love,
Your Mommy

Once upon a time

I met the most amazing man...

and he asked me to marry him.

We had three beautiful babies

and then one more

and we sailed floated off into the sunset to live our happily ever after.

Happy Anniversary Mark,
I love you more than the day we said I do and can't wait for the rest of our story.