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Monday, August 30, 2010

Mommy Life part 2

I'm behind in blogging again and I have 10 different posts whirling around in my head that I haven't had time to sit down and type so let's see if I can stay on one topic...

I feel like I'm entering a new phase in Mommy Life.

Sawyer is rapidly changing from my baby to a wannabe big kid and his latest feat is dropping his morning feeding.  He is my only baby that I have been able to solely nurse (bottle fed Ashlyn, pumped to feed P and M) and I have cherished every minute of it.

Okay maybe not every minute, a few of those nursing-every-hour nights, in my delusional state, I think I may have been willing my husband to lactate so he could take over.  But for the most part I have loved nursing this time around and am very sad to say that I dropped his morning feeding AND HE DID NOT EVEN NOTICE.
I kept waiting for him to climb on my lap and try to cuddle or whine for me or SOMETHING but nothing.  He was completely fine and toddled around as usual after the Crazies, not needing me a bit.  Of course I'm thrilled that he is weaning easily and am not so nervous about taking out his nighttime feeding some time soon but he is my baby.  Could he just pretend like he needs me a little?
So to counteract my weaning weepiness I decided to do the fitness test for P.90X with my husband, assuming I would fail miserably due to years of sacrificing my body to fertility treatments, pregnancy, bedrest, hospitalizations, surgeries, etc.

I figured I would do the test, prove I was beyond out of shape, and continue on my road of beginners yoga whenever I could manage to stay awake to get a session in.  BUT something crazy happened.

I passed the fitness test.

The further we got into the test the more excited I got that I might truly be a living, breathing, fulling functioning person.  Mark and I had fun pushing each other through the challenges and spent the rest of naptime plotting our path to looking like the people on the video.

Now, I am two days into the program and regardless of the fact that I could barely lift my children, tie my shoes or get my sports bra on today I feel great.  For the first time in YEARS I am doing something for me.  I'm actually feeling a little weird blogging about it because I'm not sure that I have ever spent five minutes here talking completely about myself.

I have heard people talk about this thing called "taking time for yourself" but I have sort of laughed it off and buried myself in taking care of my kids vowing to not miss a second of anything because I have learned the painful reality of how quickly those moments can be taken away.

I think taking a step to do something for me made me realize how much I need to do this and how much I have needed to do this for a long time.  I'm sure the whole exercise/serotonin boost is not hurting me either :)

So this was a lot of serious change for one weekend.  I can now have a margarita after Sawyers bedtime feed AND I found something to do just for me.  I actually worked out yesterday morning while Mark got the kids up instead of feeling I had to be crazy super mom getting them up myself AND I even bought workout clothes AND went shoe shopping for me yesterday.  Who in the world am I??

"Moooooommmmmmmyyyyyyyyy" (Parker)


"Moooom" (Ashlyn)


Nevermind, I remember.

"Mooooom" (Ashlyn again)


"MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY" (and Parker again)


Naptime is over, Ashlyn can't find something, the dryer just buzzed and I have no idea what I am cooking for dinner.

But I AM looking forward to my "me" hour tomorrow.

I may update my P.90 status on here every once in a while just incase anyone is interested in whether or not I actually stick with it.  Don't expect to see any before and after photos though.  We took the "befores" on Saturday and they were not pretty.   Seeing them made me want to try that spray tan stuff, oh and teeth whitening too.   Okay I'll stop now, I will never have that much free time and naptime is way past over.

Me time is going to my head.

Here are some pics of Parker and McKenna so I don't feel guilty blogging about myself (I think they may become a trapeze act in the circus someday because they spend their whole time swinging trying to hold hands)...
 

3 comments:

Liz said...

What is P90x? Please fill me in....

Jessica said...

Liz- it's a really good workout that I have heard tons of people get great results from. It is really intense but after 90 days you are supposed to be in great shape. We're only in week one so we'll see what happens.
You guys should do it and we can compare notes!

Sarah Halstead said...

Cute pictures. Thanks for sharing. I am your newest and 100th follower. :) love your blog.

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