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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Denial

This weekend I made a trip to Buy Buy Baby (my favorite baby store that makes me want to have one more just so that I can keep shopping there) to see if I could find the next level of toddler-proofing devices.  At this point I am thinking we need wire fences, steel locks and crazy glue to keep everything in our house out of harms way but figured I would try one more store.
My reason for toddler-proofing
After searching the aisles for my favorite invention ever, the crib tent, I was still emtpy-handed so had to ask an associate.  She led me to the "Baby Safety" area and handed me the basic crib tent.

Oh let me stop here for a second to ask... where are all of the other moms like me in these stores?  Why am I always the only one with children climbing my head?  Why does every other shopper entering either have:

a) a little pregnant belly, a registry zapper and an army of women telling her what she needs
b) a huge pregnant belly and a doting husband
c) a sleeping baby with an adult to baby ratio of at least 2:1?

So back to my story (picture that I am surrounded by a, b and c category shoppers), the associate hands me the basic crib tent and I explain to her that I need the crib tent II...

Me: You know the one that completely surrounds the inside of the crib so that they cannot break out?  We have the basic model and my daughter can reach through and unzip it herself.
Associate:  Oh so your daughter needs another?
Me: No, this one is for my son.  My daughter unzips hers, my son climbs out of his crib and then into hers.  No one is sleeping.

("a" shopper looks a little pale and decides not register for safety items just now)

Associate: Wow, well hopefully this will work.
Me:  Thanks, oh, do you have door knob covers too?
Associate:  Sure, right here (showing me the basic covers)
Me:  Oh, do you have any others?  My son can break these off.  Once he is out of his crib he can take apart just about anything.

(shopper type "b" is now holding her tummy, trying to protect her unborn from my story)

Associate: Oh wow.  Have you tried these? (showing me door locks that prop the door open a bit)
Me:  That won't work, he can get his hand through and dislodge it from the other side.

("c" shopper is backing her husband, mother and baby out of the aisle as quickly as possible. If we breathe on her sweet baby, he is destined to be a robber in training as well)

Associate:  (At a complete loss as to how to help me)  I'm sorry Mam, I can't think of anything else.

So I bought my Crib Tent II and left and I must say I had a very easy time getting out of the store, it seemed that all of the shoppers just parted ways and let me get right through.

I do remember those days of denial, when you hear the stories and tell yourself that that will never be your child.

McKenna sporting her new cast (another blog post for another day)


Actually I think I still have those days, I am always telling myself how Sawyer will be my easy one or McKenna will probably skip that "I hate my mother phase" and of course all of my children will never move away but will buy houses right down the street from their mom and dad.

I guess denial is survival.

Either way, I love my little crib climbing, tantrum throwing, lock picking children to pieces and don't mind if the store parts as I walk through, it is much easier to get down the aisle with a cart, a double stroller and three kids who refuse to ride in either when no one is in your way.  

8 comments:

Megan said...

That gave me a good laugh! Thanks!

Jennifer G. said...

I love your stories. You tell them so well. :-)

Belle said...

Great story about shopping at the store. Your kids sound very intelligent and ingenious.

Rebecca said...

Too funny!!!! WOW, I can't believe how much Parker looks like a blond haired version of Mark and McKenna like a mini-Jessica!

m&msmommy said...

What a great story (in a "I feel your pain sort of way" ;)

Don't worry, those "perfect" moms will get their day :) ANY parent who thinks that will NEVER be their child, always end up with the worst ones. Trust me! :)

Heather said...

Well said. I love to read your blog and relate to people just getting out of our way at the store. :)

Sarah Halstead said...

Ha ha! This is hilarious!!

Taylor and Allison said...

Jessica,
By far, your greatest post ever! keep them coming!

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